


Deus Ex

by muggles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gen, M/M, Robot/Human Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5874418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muggles/pseuds/muggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe and Hux find themselves living together in isolation, alongside some new, realistic droids that Poe has been developing.</p><p>*~*this is an Ex Machina crack crossover sorry not sorry*~*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deus Ex

Nobody had expected the droid rebellion to happen as quickly as it did, to take hold on as many planets simultaneously, to cause so many human fatalities.

Had they known, the Resistance certainly would have established more defenses, warned the far-reaching planets earlier, put additional protective measures for cultural landmarks into place. But in reality, there hadn’t been time for any of that.

However, at the very least, Poe would have ensured that the one other human who’d made it into his safe house was somebody, _anybody_  other than General Hux. But there hadn’t been time for that either.

The home was accessible only by direct aerial transport, constructed into the side of a mountain and largely imperceptible from the air. When Hux had showed up, battered and muddy—having placed a tracking device on Poe's X-wing—Poe was severely disappointed to find that he just couldn’t bring himself to turn another human away from his door. Even if it was the treacherous, murderous General Hux.

***

It had taken a few weeks for Poe to trust Hux enough to show him the new droid experimentations he’d been working on. Poe’s droids were old-fashioned, with limited communication capabilities, but they could perform basic domestic tasks, research, and repairs, along with a few other special modifications.

“I was trying to build a human replica droid, but it’s not quite there yet,” he said nervously, as Hux surveyed the droid, hands clasped behind him.

“You’re very close, though. I must admit, I’m quite impressed, commander,” said Hux, nodding slightly. “The eyes in particular, are almost uncannily familiar.”

Poe didn’t mention that he’d modeled this droid on his old-pal-turned-Knight-of-Ren-turned-torturer.

“I made this one for sparring practice mostly,” he noted, demonstrating by punching it in the stomach. The droid wheezed out a pathetic, “I’m immune to the light.” Poe eyed Hux discretely, wondering if he’d heard it.

“Most excellent work,” said Hux, grinning, and prodding the droid roughly himself. “Most excellent.”

***

Leaving Poe dozing peacefully, drunkenly, on the couch, Hux had followed the Rendroid into the main living quarters, curious as to what he did every night when dismissed from his domestic duties. As he walked up behind him, the droid turned around and eyed him blankly. Suddenly though, his hands moved to begin unfastening the black cloak around his neck, exposing a strip of synthetic flesh on his chest.

“No! No, no, don’t do that,” said Hux hurriedly, trying to button up the Rendroid’s cloak, as the Rendroid continued to unfasten it. He really did not want Poe to find him with an undressed Kylo Ren droid, even if—especially if—they were the last two humans left in the universe. “STOP. Please, please don’t do that.”

“You’re wasting your time talking to him,” announced Poe, unexpectedly, standing in the doorframe, taking a sip of his drink and clinking the ice cubes against the glass. “I haven’t installed his language comprehension capabilities yet, all commands are still manual.” He held up a remote and clicked it, and the Rendroid obediently stepped back and stood still, ceasing his attempts to undress further.

“This isn’t what it—I wasn’t—“ Hux stuttered.

“Oh, don’t worry, I know you weren’t,” said Poe, laughing and waving the remote again. “All commands are manual, remember?”

Hux looked at the Rendroid, then back to Poe, glaring at him, remembering why he hated the wanton unpredictability of the Resistance. Why was that command even on the remote?

“However,” Poe added, “if you _did_ like that, you might be interested to see what else he can do.” He clicked another button and the lights dimmed into colorful strobes as funky, disco-style music started playing. The Rendroid started bobbing his head and moving his shoulders, as he danced his way toward the front of the room.

“Go ahead, dance with him!” said Poe, gesturing toward the Rendroid, who was now shaking his arms in front of himself. Hux simply stared, brain not entirely able to process what he was seeing. “What, you don’t like dancing? He does.” Poe bounced his way towards Hux, who was starting to realize he might have preferred a swift death at the hands of his protocol droid rather than witnessing this. The First Order never would have allowed such a disgusting display of individuality and disorder.

“Come on, buddy. After a long day of blowing up planets and being personally responsible for the deaths of millions of people, didn’t you ever learn to unwind?” said Poe, moving his head from side to side, an edge to his voice betraying his true feelings.

Hux huffed, annoyed that Poe was still able to get under his skin like this. “Well, I’m not the only murderer here, then. Because you destroyed the Starkiller base.” Poe snorted and continued dancing without missing a beat.

“I’m gonna destroy the fucking dance floor, dude, check it out,” he said, shuffling forward to the Rendroid.

Hux gaped as Poe and, what in all appearances looked to be Kylo Ren, Knight of Ren, began performing an extremely well coordinated dance routine to the music. They shimmied and shuffled, pointing their fingers up and to the side. They clasped their hands together, bounced them off their hips, then kicked their legs high and clapped under them. They lowered their heads and popped back up, elbows pointed to either side, and began thrusting their hips forward. It was altogether... overwhelming.

Hux reached back desperately and found Poe’s drink, bringing it to his lips and swigging it down in one gulp. As an officer of the First Order, drinking had been considered unseemly, and he personally found the loss of control unnerving. But he wasn’t an officer of the First Order any more—in all likelihood, the First Order didn’t even _exist_ anymore. Hux closed his eyes as he felt the drink warm his insides, and began nodding his head to the rhythm of the music.

As he sat, tapping his foot and watching as Poe and the Rendroid continued to dance, Hux listened intently to the words of the song: “Get down, it’s Saturday night.” He may no longer be an officer, but he still knew the value of following orders.

And that sounded like an order he could follow.

**Author's Note:**

> [Fill for the TFA Kink Meme!](https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1841.html?thread=3048753#cmt3048753)
> 
>  
> 
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